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POLES, STAPLERS, AND SWIMMING POOLS: 17 Stupid Ways People Have Injured Themselves

2011-11-04T23:00:00Z
Flickr - guywilliamwelch.com

Ever had a hoe hit you in the face? Or killed a tooth by running into a pole?

These people have.

No one likes getting hurt. And people like it even less when there is a stupid story accompanying the injury. But, alas, it happens to the best of us.

Don't believe it?

Check out this hilarious Reddit thread where people shared the dumbest ways they've injured themselves.

If you don't learn the first time, try again

Wikimedia Commons

"I broke my nose by running into a pole. A few weeks later it was finally healed up, I was so happy. Then I ran into the exact same pole the next week and broke my nose again."

Source: Reddit

Might be time to keep the dentist on speed dial

Wikimedia Commons

"I once bruised a tooth running full tilt into the side of a table.

Edit: Apparently I killed the tooth. I committed denticide!"

Source: Reddit

Turns out, all those cartoons were right

Youtube

"I once stepped on a hoe in my mom's garden to see if it really would swing up and hit me in the face.

Guess what."

This poor commenter had three mortifying injuries. Here's the first

Wikimedia Commons

"Went to trim a loose thread off bottom of my pants, missed and scissor hacked skin between big toe and one next to it. Needed 10 stitches and couldn't wear shoes for weeks. Of course it was winter."

Source: Reddit

This person's toes don't fare too well. Here's the second injury

Wikimedia Commons

"It was the middle of the night and my dog needed to pee. Opened door to outside and the door caught my toe. Ended up breaking it and completely ripped off the nail."

Source: Reddit

And now the head is injured. Here's the commenter's third awful injury

Wikimedia Commons

"Was a competitive swimmer for years. One day while doing laps I must have dozed off and rammed my head into the end of lane. Huge bloody brush burn across my forehead.

I could go for days. I am Polish and left-handed. There isn't much hope for me."

Source: Reddit

Tools are not toys

Industrial stapler Industrialstapler.org

"I stapled my thumb with an industrial stapler... Twice."

Source: Reddit

Apparently, staplers are dangerous

Wikimedia Commons

i was helping my dad put up a chicken wire fence on a freeezing morning in yorkshire it must have been -10, i just wanted to get it finished and go for a cup of tea! so rushing as i was, holding the chicken wire under my thumb while gripping a round fence post with the same hand i nailed it and it went into the soft part of my thumb just to the right of the nail.

being cold as it was i didnt feel it looked at the post and thought hmmmm theres no staple in there and repeated the process... only this time it went through my nail into the bone. my dad being a bear grylls kind of dad said "you [expletive] wolly, can you pull it out? no? try using your teeth"

He might have cursed himself

Wikimedia Commons

"Stabbed a screwdriver through my hand, in the middle of Iraq, while trying to remove a rusty screw from a wire clamp on some equipment we were working on. All the medical tent could give me was iodine and some band-aids for a 1/4 hole through my palm.

The kicker is that I told my buddy about 5 seconds before "I'm probably going to stab myself through the hand, the way I'm holding this thing."

Source: Reddit

These guys don't have much luck with office supplies

Flickr/Kat

"In elementary school, probably most schools did this, you could prove you were a grade school badass by jumping a whole bunch of stairs. 4 for starters, but 6 or 7 was best I think.

Even rocket scientists can't handle toys sometimes

Wikimedia Commons

"I had a 24 year-old roommate last summer who got really into yo-yos. One night while practicing, he accidentally hit himself in the face with one, bled all over the kitchen, and had a swollen forehead for a week and a half.

He actually got a job with NASA a few months later."

Source: Reddit

A fun winter day takes a turn for the worse

Wikimedia Commons

"I was around 7 years old I was sledding down a hill and I had tried to go under my fathers car. I hit the muffler and cracked my head open. I still have a huge scar and a silly story."

Source: Reddit

Imitating Tom Cruise never turns out well

Tom Cruise

"Not me but my brother, he got a new pair of cotton socks from my mum and he said "whoa, wait until you see the slide I can do in these". He then slid across our wooden floor for about 2 feet and hit the ground screaming, (obviously I couldn't stop laughing).

He had completely torn his groin, he was alright after about 2 months of physio. The funny thing is he was 30 years old at the time."

Source: Reddit

Always be careful around power tools

Electric drill Toolsreview.net
"I needed to cut a 20mm hole in a galv steel box. Instead of going to the workshop and using a pillar drill I decided to use an electric drill with a starret cutter.

I put my knee up on the workbench to brace my arm and hand holding the box. Turns out my hand doesn't provide much grip and, as the cutter bit into the box, it spun up and into my [testicles].

I cried."

A day at the creek becomes a day at the emergency room

SportFishermen.com

"In highschool I was fishin' for crawdads with a buddy of mine down at the local creek, and everything was going well. We'd caught a few tiny crawdads when I saw a beast that I had to have. I carefully planted my feet on an algae covered rock, and then swiftly fell two feet onto a completely dry, jagged rock.

The rock gouged the [expletive] out of my knee, and I had to be taken to the hospital. 14 years later I've got a scar, and no feeling in my left knee."

Source: Reddit

Playground games aren't for the faint of heart

Wikimedia Commons

"I was playing a land-based version of "marco polo" on the playground in elementary school, and I was the one with my eyes closed. As my friend realized what was about to happen, she ran toward me, screaming "POLO! POLO!" (and not, for example, "dumbass open your eyes...") as I ran face-first into a chain link fence, giving myself a pretty intense black eye and a small puncture that just missed said eye."

Source: Reddit

Maybe a face mask would have helped

Flickr

"In bed, browsing Reddit on my phone with my phone above my head.

Dropped phone on my nose."

Source: Reddit

Not every injury is funny

Quinn Dombrowski via Flickr

Check out the accident that sent two to the hospital >

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Martina Birk

Update: 2024-08-12